This Story reminded me of the (seemingly) inconsequence (of life)

The Story of John Wheeler, a once relatively prominent player in the global political and military scene - a well respected man with substantial, and substantive achievements and accomplishments in life.  It has been reported that the cause of death was a blunt force trauma.  A small single paragraph of (seemingly) inconsequence.  And, my dad came to mind.  

The most profound aspect of losing my father is the seemingly inconsequence of the event.  I'm now certain that it had everything to do with my expectation.  Trading kinda teaches you in a very unique way about consequences and expectations.  My expectation in my father's passing was that this would be some higher level emotional event.  Which truth be told, the immediate effect was certainly that.  But, life simply moved on.  Even in the immediate sense.  I could (or could not) allow myself to move on and continue with life.  I could look objectively down at myself and my brothers, and watch us all return to our lives.  But, wait, look at what has just happened here.  Your father, that figure of enormous influence, and strength, occupying that one single place in a young person's life - their dad, is no longer.


Or maybe not everyone has that same perspective of their dad.  That's entirely possible.  But regardless, your dad is the one and only.  And yes, so is your mom (and other members of your family), which is(are) another story(ies) and perspective(s) to pen later.  And he was gone.  And no one at all even seemed to blink.  It was like, nothing even happened.


Except I couldn't call him on the phone any more, I couldn't (can't) share my joy and pain, and enthusiasm and enjoyment.  My sister was killed by a drunk driver on November 17 1980.  Maybe it is just me.  I still think the same thing about her.  I was never able to share my success in finding a job upon graduation, and the next 30 years of amazing experiences in the wild.  So maybe it is just the way I am wired.  


I have this deep sense of attachment, an emotional and (almost) spiritual connection that shapes and shakes my core.  So I read of the last days of John Wheeler.  The Vietnam war vet, the advisor to several presidents on things military, and he's dead, possibly murdered.  The body was located in a garbage dump.  The story held headlines for a couple of days.  And now weeks later, it is relegated to Page A18 of the National Briefing, MidAtlantic Section of the Saturday NYTimes, and constitutes all of a single paragraph.  Pretty inconsequential closing to a rather profound story.  Or maybe that is just to me.


A man constructs,  conducts, completes a successful life from many different perspectives, personal and professional, and then unceremoniously departs, and fades from view.  Welcome to life - you do your thing, whatever that is, and then you leave.  I guess I am so being totally naive, but I don't know anymore what I expected.  But I am disappointed that it is all so simple and .... well, inconsequential.  No wonder everyone says that living in the moment is important, it's the only thing.  Enjoy and relish in each and every moment the the day offers you for it is truly the only certainty (and event of consequence)  you have.