one month post-Aussieland

The sun shines, the air warm, the snow and ice has mostly melted at lower elevations, and the soil has thawed, the trees and other greenery have all exploded into a flurry of new growth. A late spring it might be in Calgary, Canada, but it remains my most favorite time of the year.

I returned to Calgary on June 3rd after a little over a month traveling in Australia (http://www.tahoe.travellerspoint.com/). This was my first foray into traveling alone and not for work. It was absolutely fabulous. There are no words to describe the experience I had. The alignment of a multitude of aspects/factors seemed to create a space quite unique to anything I have epxerienced before. This space of quiet, stillness, of pure and unadulterate joy and serenity. Sounds all too hokey, but still reality for me. Regardless of the chaos and mayhem, regardless of what challenges may be thrown into your path, the same opportunity to exit by choicce to that space remains. It is very special, and completely real.

No schedule, no steadfast plan or commitments or obligations. A period of freedom to follow the flow of life, and not fight the current. Find the current and follow it. An opportunity for full surrender, an opportunity to see if I can actually let go, give way, and follow the path forward that is being provided.

The biggest challenge has been to place that level of faith into every minute and hour of being - is this the blind faith people like to talk about? Whatever it might be, the outcome has been one of astonishment and amazement at the simplicity of it all. And mostly, the incredible power of polar opposites. The more you let go, the more you open that space, the simpler life becomes. It all sounds too silly, but whatever it might appear to be, the deep feelings are unequivocal. The change in my core has been nothing short of a secretly wonderful glow and aura of intense energy - emanating in all directions.

I had been wholly concerned with the maintenance of this "space" upon returning to Calgary. However, those fears would appear to be wholly unfounded (at least for now). Though there are those that say that once this transformation to a heightened awareness and consciousness has begun, it will continue - possibly with fits and spurts, but nonetheless, continues.

I had a moment of such last evening. I had allowed myself to follow a path of uncertainty and unknown, and began to feel rather anxious and uncomfortable. Within minutes, I was able to pull back from those fleeting thoughts, and look once again at the bigger picture and remind myself that those thoughts and feelings were of my own making. I was in a position to make a choice, continue with those thoughts and generate more anxiety and uncertainty and discomfort or not. I made a choice to not. And almost instantaneously, my view and demeanour changed, and my outlook regained its positive bent.

Several years ago at the height (or maybe depth) of my challenges of the last few years - a very good friend of mine asked me - what is MOST important to you - do you know what your values are, and what drives your world? It took some very intensive reflection - and much time spent thinking about what I don't want before I could finally turn that into what I do want. So what do I want? - what will guide every decision or choice that I make?

I wish to have repsect, understanding, simplicity, and positive energy. Maybe it has to do with the fact that in my previous life I have endured huge disrespect, a total lack of understanding, immense complexity, and an overabundance of negative energy. But for now, as I conciously make choices and decisions, how does that choice or decision fit in with these attributes. Are they congruant? is there alignment in these values and the path foward being chosen? And does the decision or choice "feel" good in my deeper core? This is what drives me now. And the trip has been most pleasing. Most pleasing indeed.